He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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