I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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