Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
