there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize