In the future we'll all be gay
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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