Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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