Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize