the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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