So drunk its hurt
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she peed on how many people?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
