you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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