hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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