Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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