I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
