you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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