Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
