Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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