in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
