There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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