Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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