Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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