Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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