Swine flu. Run for my life!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
