When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
