This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
