No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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