Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Also, beer. Big fan.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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