Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize