You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The air was thick with penises
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
