Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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