I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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