There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
