She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
