google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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