I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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