Plan B is the new Plan A
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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