Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
