I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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