Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
