so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize