so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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