Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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