You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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