i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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