is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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