so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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