two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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