So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
