Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
