I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
