I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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