did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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