I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
