And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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