toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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