People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
