Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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