covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
