Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
