just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Randomize