You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
