My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
