Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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