His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
