Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Yo dont text me then not text me
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
