did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
