Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
