One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize