You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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