Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
