whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Randomize