pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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