He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
