you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think I sprained my soul last night
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
