I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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