dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
