I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize